Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep – Fontaine’s Script for the Semis

Sup people!

Welcome back to GGAL. Wow, can’t believe that I’ve finally handed in the final piece of work for my post-grad degree! Yeesh. I’m definitely gonna talk about college more in the future but for now… It’s battle time.

That’s right, this is my semi-final entry for the BloggerBlitz: Blacksheep competition. In case you haven’t got the memo, your boy has it right here

BREAKING THE BROKER
Competitors: Xehanort (@overthinkery1) and Frank Fontaine (@gitgudatlife)
Designers: Athena (@TheAmbiGamer) and Chris (@overthinkery1)
Match Date: September 10th, 2018
Results Date: September 14th, 2018
Word Limit: 1500 words

In the vastness of the universe, there exists a being known as the Shadow Broker. A powerful and mysterious alien creature, the Broker deals in secret knowledge and bears secrets too powerful for the mortal world. Among the many things the Broker knows, the most coveted secret of all is the knowledge of affordable real estate. Who among us has never thought, “I wish a scary alien would help ME find a modest home in a safe neighborhood!”? It is this very thought that spurns the villains to action in this semifinal event.

In this event, your sponsored villain is nearing the end of their lease and is ready to move into the frightening world of home ownership. But in this economy, it’s impossible to find an evil lair that’s both fully equipped for repelling pesky heroes and easy on the budget. The only being in the universe who could possibly know of something so rare is the Shadow Broker.

Your mission is to pursue the Broker and extract information from him about how you can find your first home. Any means are acceptable, but know that this guy is no slouch – besides being an alien with superhuman strength, he’s well-resourced with a ton of heavily-armed mercenaries hanging out with him on his large and complex space vessel. And if he knows what you’re coming for, he may just make the information that much harder to find…

My post entry is in the form of a screenplay. Now WordPress doesn’t really allow for the post to be seen in the proper form. So if you would like to read the screenplay as it’s originally intended, follow this link for the original Word Doc.

House Hunting Beyond The Sea

“House Hunting beyond the sea”

A Screenplay By

GGAL

FADE IN:

SCENE NAME: THE INTERROGATION

INTERIOR – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

The screen pans around a dark, smoky room. The song “BEYOND THE SEA” can be heard vaguely on the radio. Two men sit opposite each other, only an alien is in shot.

The SHADOW BROKER is an alien with 8 eyes that vaguely resembles a crab, he speaks in a calm and monotone voice.

SHADOW BROKER

So, Mr. Fontaine, why exactly does a wealthy tycoon such as yourself need affordable property? Are these troubled times?

FRANK FONTAINE, the man sitting in the other chair while playing with a lit cigar. He speaks in a deep, coarse, Bronx accent.

FRANK FONTAINE

Let’s just say that revolution ain’t cheap when you’re technically dead. But that’s none of your business.

SHADOW BROKER

Indeed. Well, I may have the information you need, but I don’t see an offer on the table.

FRANK FONTAINE

Offer? (He begins to laugh under his breath) Yeah, don’t worry, I’ll make sure you got skin in the game

CUT TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE (FLASH FORWARD) – NIGHT

The SHADOW BROKER is restrained by iron belts. He screams in agony as SPIDER SPLICERS use their hooks to rip away his skin.

BACK TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Returns to the present

SHADOW BROKER

I assume that you mean a cut of Fontaine Futuristics. That certainly is interesting, but I would have to demand a sizable share.

FRANK FONTAINE

5%?

SHADOW BROKER

No, I’d rather have 50. And believe me Mr. Fontaine, if that is the name you now go by, I am not one to be intimidated by muscle. If you want my information, you will have to pay on my terms.

CUT TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE (FLASHFORWARD) – NIGHT

The SHADOW BROKER is still tied down while repeatedly taking powerful right hooks from a BIG DADDY. After each hit the SHADOW BROKER coughs up blood.

FRANK FONTAINE

If you think this is bad, you should see how he hits with his good arm.

FRANK FONTAINE snaps his fingers and then the BIG DADDY slowly begins to rotate his drill.

BACK TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Returns to the present

FRANK FONTAINE

No doubt you ain’t afraid of me, after all, I’m no bruiser, I’m just a sleazy salesman. And look! Your guards are loaded to the teeth, I bet the only thing that has them beat is themselves!

CUT TO:

EXTERIOR – OUTSIDE THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE (FLASHFORWARD) – NIGHT

All that can be seen is a landscape shot of violence and RED HAZE. All of the SHADOW BROKER’S MEN appear to be under a trance as RED HAZE steams from their bodies. They continue to fight in a state of total ENRAGEMENT, only stopping one skirmish when their opponent is dead, then swiftly moving onto the next.

BACK TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Returns to the present

SHADOW BROKER

Ah yes, you must have seen my mercenary army outside. Impressive, aren’t they? The best private military force that credits can buy. You won’t find a more capable and loyal force in the galaxy.

FRANK FONTAINE

Yeah… loyal. I’m sure.

SHADOW BROKER

There is something rather curious about your being here today, Mr. Fontaine.

FRANK FONTAINE

Oh? How’s that exactly.

SHADOW BROKER

You are not the first to seek me with this particular real estate problem. In fact, I have been contacted by another gentleman, older fellow that went by then name Xehanort.

FRANK FONTAINE

(Chuckling) Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about him.

SHADOW BROKER

No?

FRANK FONTAINE

Forgetting the fact that he’s just a second-rate villain. I’ve got him tied up for the foreseeable future.

SHADOW BROKER

Care to explain? Have you met him before?

FRANK FONTAINE

Yeah you could say that. Course he had no idea it was me, with a little bit makeup and a whole lotta this (takes out a syringe filled with a red liquid from his trench coat pocket), a guy can be anyone nowadays. As far as that schmuck’s aware, my name is SORA (he begins to laugh again). Hell, with enough drops of this (again points to the syringe) the guy will even start seeing a rat, a duck and a dumb talking dog!

SHADOW BROKER

Indeed. Well it seems you certainly are the formidable opponent.

FRANK FONTAINE

Oh, you’ve got no idea

CUT TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE (FLASH FORWARD) – NIGHT

Several of the SHADOW BROKER’S own men repeatedly lunge themselves at the SHADOW BROKER at FRANK FONTAINE’S behest. Again, the men appear to be in a trance state, their faces are expressionless, and a GREEN MIST appears to be exhausted from their bodies like steam. The SHADOW BROKER uses his significant physical prowess to fight them off, but there are simply too many.

SHADOW BROKER

Unhand me now! (he screams whilst throwing a man against the wall) That is an order! You belong to me!

But despite the SHADOW BROKER’S yelling, the men continue to pile onto him until eventually he is completely restrained. Meanwhile, FRANK FONTAINE sits calmly in his chair, a GREEN SPONGELIKE PLASMID is in his hand, no bigger than the size of a baseball. He plays with it in his hand without disturbing his gaze on the scene unfolding before him, occasionally squeezing the PLASMID which releases a GREEN OOZE. He smiles at the SHADOW BROKER.

SHADOW BROKER

You! You did this! How! Explain yourself!

FRANK FONTAINE

(Chuckles) Loyal ain’t they? Course that only applies when they got control of their own minds.

BACK TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Returns to the present

FRANK FONTAINE

So, this property, how do I know the deal is as good as you say?

SHADOW BROKER

I have no intention of giving away all my secrets, but you have been rather interesting, so I’ll tell you this: It’s a grand estate currently being used by a racist cult. The property is exquisite, you would only need to wash away the poison that lingers inside. And when it comes to the price, the value lies in the fact that few mortals can find the city which holds the manor.

FRANK FONTAINE

Secret city? Sounds a whole lot like RAPTURE.

SHADOW BROKER

Indeed.

CUT TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE (FLASH FORWARD) – NIGHT

With the SHADOW BROKER restrained, FRANK FONTAINE puts his cigar out in one of the SHADOW BROKER’S eyes, forcing a blood curdling scream.

FRANK FONTAINE

So, you gonna talk you freaking lobster!

SHADOW BROKER

No matter what you do to my body, my mind is too powerful to break!

FRANK FONTAINE

You’re mind? That’s an idea.

BACK TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Returns to the present

SHADOW BROKER

I think we’ve had enough small talk, make me a serious offer now, or I’m afraid, XEHANORT will be getting the address that you so crave.

FRANK FONTAINE

Ok. This is my offer… nothing. You get no part of my business interests. You get none of Fontaine Futuristics. In fact, all you get is your life, which you’re lucky that I’m sparing.

CUT TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE (FLASHFORWARD) – NIGHT

With the SHADOW BROKER tied to his chair, FRANK FONTAINE takes a syringe and extracts liquid from a bottle labelled “BRAIN BOOST”.

FRANK FONTAINE

This is a little something my lab boys cooked up. It’s called Brain Boost and is meant to enhance all that cognitive crap. So naturally, I’m gonna give you a dosage of about 50000 times the safe limit. See how that precious little brain of yours keeps up.

He injects the syringe into the SHADOW BROKER’S HEAD who immediately begins to scream.

SHADOW BROKER

Too… too much. I can’t! Too much! I… I see it all! Everything! I can’t! Please! Please!

The eyes of the SHADOW BROKER emit a blue glow. He screams in agony as his body convulses in his restraints.

SHADOW BROKER

I’ll tell you! There’s… there’s a lighthouse! It’s… (he can barely get out his words under the weight of the torture) Off the coast of Maine. It will take you to the city, the heaven in the sky! Just please make it stop!

FRANK FONTAINE smile as he slowly walks over to the radio as COHEN’S SCHERZO #7 comes on and turns up the volume, then he tips his hat at the screaming SHADOW BROKER as he walks out the door.

BACK TO:

INT – THE SHADOW BROKER’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Returns to the present

SHADOW BROKER

I’ve had enough, clearly you aren’t serious. Guards! Get in here!

FRANK FONTAINE reaches into his pocket and takes out a GREEN SPONGELIKE PLASMID then begins to smile.

FRANK FONTAINE

Yeah. Bring em in

FADE OUT:

THE END

GG Everyone

 

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9 thoughts on “Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep – Fontaine’s Script for the Semis

  1. Reading Fontaine’s entry for the semifinals, Master Xehanort can’t stop smiling. ‘I have this won, surely!’ he crows.
    I finish reading and give him two raised eyebrows. ‘You serious, bro? It’s been fun, but I’m pretty sure we’re done here.’
    ‘Inconceivable!’
    ‘Not your catchphrase, and, uh… yeah, I don’t think we’re going through to the finals.’
    ‘Well, then.’ The Keyblade Master takes slow, ominous strides towards me. ‘It seems I have no further need of you.’ His enormous blade appears in his hand.
    I stumble back, ready to accept my fate, but a strong voice rings out: ‘At least wait for the results, for heaven’s sake!’
    I gasp with joy, looking up to see who else bursting into the room to save me but the Blitz host – Ian himself, in the form of a literal angel just sort of flying around and being majestic and stuff. Xehanort harrumphs and folds his arms, sulking.
    ‘Fine,’ he grumbles, pointing a finger right in my face, ‘but mark my words: unless I win this event, this useless Blogger’s time is short!’
    ‘Dude,’ I reprimand him. ‘You can’t blackmail the judges into voting for you by threatening to kill me.’
    ‘Yes, I can’.
    ‘I don’t think that’s – is that OK?’
    Angel!Ian shakes his heavenly head. ‘No, that’s not OK.’
    Xehanort, stripped of all power, goes back to playing Mario Kart.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh man, the theater nerd in me is geeking out right now! This is such an interesting approach – I particularly enjoy the jump cuts back and forth and how it allows for some great wordplay as you overlay pleasantries and torture.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well you certainly proved yourself in the first round! However the semis shake out, I’d say you can be proud of your work, because you’ve submitted quite the pair of articles so far.

        Like

      2. Hey, you might be new to competing in the Blitz, but so am I! (I was a judge last year.) And I appreciate the compliment, but I’m really no more talented than anyone else here – Ian somehow always gathers a bunch of people with not one of them less than awesomely awesome!

        Like

  3. Reblogged this on Adventure Rules and commented:
    Tomorrow, the semifinal results will be posted and we will learn the second and final competitor for the Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep championship! If you missed Michael’s submission arguing in favor of Frank Fontaine, I fully recommend you give it a read before the results are announced. Be sure to come back tomorrow at 9 AM EST to see who will be competing against Teri Mae and Ganondorf in the final round!

    Like

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