Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep – Parking Panic – Fontaine Enters the Ring

Sup Competitors,

Welcome back to GGAL

Today is a special post because it’s my entry to round one of the Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep competition. If you would like to read the full details for round one, you can do so here.

If you are the lazy type, here are the rules for todays event…

Competitors: Frank Fontaine (@gitgudatlife) and Charles Jericho (@AlexSigsworth)
Designers: Pix (@Pix1001) and Reaper (@ReaperActive)
Match Date: August 20th, 2018
Results Date: August 24th, 2018
Word Limit: 1000 words

It’s Villain Con and each competitor is on their way to buy expensive merchandise and listen to panels while surrounded by other uncomfortable, sweaty introverts for hours at a time. Alas, when they reach the parking garage, the only spot left is on the fifth floor. They’ll have to reverse into the final parking space, but to do so they’ll have to battle a boss on each level as they rise. On the first level they’ll face Gandhi from Civilization IV; on the second level they’ll face Kirby from, well, all the Kirbygames; on the third level they’ll face Darkeater Midir from Dark Souls III; and on the fourth level they’ll face Donkey Kong and his classic barrels from Donkey Kong. Find out if our villainous competitors can do the impossible and successfully park their vehicle in Parking Panic!

Lets get into it…

photo from above of vehicles parked near building
Photo by Stephan Müller on

Are you alright there reader? I don’t know how you got into this godforsaken parking lot, but I’ve never been one to question providence. I’m GGAL, and I aim to get you through this challenge, so get in and buckle up. Frank Fontaine is one tough cookie so as long as we drive carefully and whatnot, we can follow quietly in his wake.

First he’s gonna take out that old man, Gandhi I think he is? Yeah well old Franky ain’t one for negotiation. I doubt he’ll even get out of his bathysphere, the man is waving and… splat! Right through him, blood, guts and whatnot all over the place. Brutal ain’t he, lets quickly follow him to level 2.

What on earth is that little pink ball over?! It’s eating splicers left right and center! I wonder how Frank is planning to take on this little stick off bubble gum. Again, he isn’t getting out of the vehicle but he seems to be signalling the splicers to throw something at our pink friend… It’s ADAM! That pink sucker has taken the bait and is eating it all up, now he’s mutating! It’s horrible, its become a grotesque giant slug, I wonder if it can even breathe? It certainly can’t seem to move. Fontaine is on the move to the next floor, let’s move too, before that slug decides to wake up and whatnot.

nature outside grass orange
Photo by Pixabay on

This sucks

What on earth was that roar!?! Didn’t sound like no whale. No! It’s a damn dragon, I recommend we hide and whatnot! Frank is signalling the splicers! They are all EVEing up, and hurling ElectroBolt at the beast! Must be a weakness or whatnot, Frank clearly did his homework. The dragon seems rattled but now is taking flight, damn how high are these parking lot ceilings? The creature is breathing fire everywhere, roasted splicer ain’t no bag of roses huh. But it looks like the fire is struggling to penetrate the bathysphere’s outer shell, no wonder those bathysphere’s can survive the pressures of the whole damn Atlantic.  The splicers are changing tact, they are switching to WinterBlast and freezing the creatures wings! It’s trying to fly but, wait, the wing just shattered! It looks like its on the ropes now. The spider splicers are now dropping from the ceiling onto the overgrown lizards head. My God, they are slashing like crazy. The dragon falls, finally. It disintegrates into some kinda white substance which looks a bit like sea foam. Perhaps that was it’s soul? Frank’s bathysphere keeps moving, it appears there is one final test before he can get that parking spot. God, it smells like a zoo and whatnot, I wonder what it is?

animal animal photography close up cute
Photo by Pixabay on

Is that… an ape? This can’t be the final test, surely. Well, Fontaine, is sending in the splicer’s so this should be fairly simple… wait! Its throwing those barrels to take out the splicers! I had no idea a monkey could put up such resistance. I guess Fontaine is gonna have to go for plan B cause this ain’t working at all. The splicer’s are pulling back, the bathysphere door opens… Out steps… is that a child? This ain’t no place for a little girl!

(Horrible roar)

I know that roar anywhere! It’s a damn Big Daddy! God those things make me shutter. The ape is still trying to throw its barrels but the metal daddy is using its drill to swat them away like flies. The drill is spinning… it’s preparing to charge. The monkey is pounding his chest he is about to charge as well! The are both off to the races and… ‘crash’… the raw power of the dual is like a seismic wave. The ground quakes as the parking structure struggles to keep from falling.

(A massive piece of debris falls from the floor above and directly onto Fontaine’s bathysphere)

Did you see that boyo? C’mon, lets make a break for it and whatnot, the parking spot is just ahead!

(You’re vehicle makes it to the next floor just before the ramp completely caves in)

I think… I think we did it! I really can’t believe it, I just don’t know how to thank you… AND WHATNOT

(all of a sudden, the man in the seat next to you stabs you with a syringe. As the plasmid enters you’re veins, you’re eyes seem to play tricks on you. The friend that had been sitting by you begins to change, his face becomes unrecognizable)

The name’s Frank Fontaine.

(You try to struggle, but it appears the control of your body no longer belongs to you)

I know this must be troubling, but you have been my absolute ace in the hole. So thank you for bringing the ADAM, the Big Daddy, the plasmids. I really would have struggled to get this spot without you. Course, it helps that you have to bark like a cocker spaniel whenever I say the phrase AND WHATNOT, but oh well. I have a convention to go to, and you have served your purpose. So here’s the plan… I’m gonna go speak at my “Mind-control for dummies panel”, and you can go get stepped on by a Big Daddy… and whatnot.

(As Fontaine walks away, you here an unsettlingly familiar roar right behind you)

horror crime death psychopath
Photo by Tookapic on

Game over

4 thoughts on “Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep – Parking Panic – Fontaine Enters the Ring

  1. Well this certainly gave us a strong idea of exactly what Frank’s MO is, haha. Gotta love a good Blogger Blitz plot twist! Good luck in the competition!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Adventure Rules and commented:
    The first round of Blogger Blitz: Black Sheep is nearly over! Tomorrow, Friday August 24th at 9 AM EST, the results of the fourth match will be posted right here on Adventure Rules. If you missed this submission by Git Gud at Life, I fully recommend you check it out before the results are posted tomorrow!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This competition is already sounding super fun with the different levels and bosses. Listen, Gandhi in Civ is super opposite from his mantras. He is super aggressive and always declaring war with his elephants lol. Making Kirby turn himslef into a slug was awesome. He’s too slow to catch you now. Great Post!

    -Luna 🙂


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